Friday, November 21, 2014

Mother-in-Laws

For men only! Don’t be afraid of your mother-in-law!




Image: © Monkey Business / Fotolia
The mother-in-law is the mother of your partner. This literally means that your half is a half of a mother-in-law.
A long time ago, Balzac said that if you want to find out what your wife would be after 20 years, you need to look at her mother. But don’t be afraid – times change.
Nowadays, the mother-in-law earns almost as much money as the father-in-law, she commands, she invests and she has her own finances. She loves her children, her car and you, only if you don’t remind her of her own husband.

If you want to win her, you have to earn a lot, to like what she likes and not to criticize her clothing, even when you are convinced that they are your wife’s. If the mother-in-law is the “head of the family”, we advice you not to pretend you are Napoleon. You will get over your Waterloo right when you try arguing with her, even if the subject is the yesterday’s soccer game. She might not have watched it, but she has an opinion! You should respect that.

If you have happened upon a mother-in-law who is a housewife, you should take off your shoes the moment you enter the door. You should buy her a cleaning system “Rainbow” and you should not touch the remote control when your hands are dirty. Don’t leave any hair on the soap, clean the table and don’t leave your clothes on the floor. Invite friends at home only when you know that you have enough time to clean the mess after they leave and of course to get sober. Oh, and don’t forget to put the toilet seat back in place!

If your destiny has served you with “miss perfection”, you better be careful. You won’t ever be good enough for her daughter. There will be always someone else who is better than you, smarter, richer, more careful and more concerned about you. Put up with it! Arguing with her is pointless: she talks, you don’t make a sound and then you don’t make a sound – she talks. You should better remain silent. It is a big mistake to try proving to her that you are the right person. Whatever you do, she will be convinced that you will never become good enough.

The mother-in-law who is intellectual is something else. She thinks of you as her son, she admires you and she supports you, she even takes your side when you are arguing. You could go to the movies with her and even on a vacation. And all this – until her daughter starts complaining from you. Then she turns into a tiger. For such situations people (probably men) have their sleeping bags and beds prepared. You should better leave and visit a friend for a while. This will make her think that you are not the one who has made a mistake and that you are not guilty. This happens with no words, with a sad look. At least until you turn round the corner.

The dream mother-in-law is friendly and always smiling as in a tooth paste advertisement. She shines like a summer sun and she always talks good things about you in front of her friends. She is always delicate, she never interrupts you and she knows her rights and obligations. She always helps without asking you to return the favor. She is always at the right place in the right time. She is generous and helpful.

In case you have run across such a lovely person…you are probably dreaming! Hello, hello…wake up! Stop sleeping; get up, because you have millions of things to do! Don’t forget to throw the garbage on your way out…
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